Picture of a wood with sunlight shining through the trees

It’s that time of year again here in the UK. The nights are drawing in. It’s getting colder.

The battle to resist switching the heating on has begun. Just one hour. That’s if you can remember how to operate that newfangled thermostat.

2020’s been extraordinary in the extreme. We want to move on, to keep going, to leave it behind us.

But what does it actually mean to ‘move on’?

Note: this post is also on LinkedIn – please read and interact here if you use this platform :-)

What do you want?

Work with a coach and you’re bound to get asked “What do you want?”.

Straightforward question? Yes. Easy to answer? Not in my experience.

Try it — think about your life ahead and ask “What do I want?”.

Think beyond everyday material needs and comforts — go deeper.

Think beyond what you ‘do’ and what people say about you.

Think about who you deeply are, what makes you you.

Again — “What do you want?”.

* * *

Hope

Try swapping the word ‘want’ for ‘hope’. “What do you hope?” or “What do you hope for?”.

Go one step further — are you hope-full that this might come to pass in your life, that it might become a reality?

For some, a sense of discomfort will settle in. Perhaps the thing you most hope for seems allusive — out of reach — something you believe you will never have.

Action as distraction

I had a similar conversation with someone earlier this week. They spoke of encouraging people to “sit with the tension” — that feeling of hoping for something, but then wanting to fall back into the supposed reality of who you believe you are.

They used the term “Action as a distraction of feelings”.

Many of us can move to a place of hope in our minds, dream about what we’d love to happen, but then we fall back into ‘doing’ as a way to distract ourselves from the feelings that arise, whatever these might be.

The other side

Every day brings opportunity to medicate uncomfortable feelings away — to distract ourselves — to remain rooted in what’s familiar, even if painful, frustrating or unfulfilling. 

Better to explore the tension — resolve to move forward into something new, more fully alive?

We often want for what we hope will be on the ‘other side’, but don’t want to experience the ‘going through’ to get there. And so it becomes easier to stay where we are — to simply keep wanting.

But then — it’s not really easier, is it? The cycle just repeats. The phrase “the only way out is through” comes to mind.

Back to my conversation. The other person finished by saying “The irony is I’ve never actually found anywhere to get to”. Good point.

I guess many would say it’s about “finding our way back home”.

In the words of T.S. Eliot…

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

Happiness

A group of us are looking at ways to talk more openly and often about this kind of stuff, through something called MakeLifeClick.

MakeLifeClick is reimagining online community. We’re values-led, with a vision to serve the wellbeing of all.

Central to the community is a collective of people we’re calling The Hub.

In the words of someone in The Hub:

“I do believe very few people have truly maximised their potential and found their true path. Many like me just follow the standard steps toward a goal called “happiness” without challenging them. MakeLifeClick seems to be the perfect place to ask and start answering some of these bigger questions.”

If you’re interested in exploring this kind of life stuff, please have a read of the vision for MakeLifeClick and respond to the invitation at makelife.click. We love you to join us!

I’m excited about introducing The Hub tomorrow, Friday, to everyone who’s clicked “I’m interested!”.

The preview launches on Thursday 22nd October.

Get in touch?

Fancy a coffee and a chat about people, purpose, vision, business ideas/opportunities and perhaps even life in general? Drop me a message — you never know, we may have a few things in common…